Families often ask, “What’s the difference between punishment and discipline using natural and logical consequences.” A few examples follow.
Punishment expresses the parent’s authority. Logical consequences express choice.
Example: TV blaring early on a weekend morning.
Punishment: Turn off the TV right now or you’re grounded from TV!
Logical: Allison, I realize you enjoy watching TV early, but mom and I are trying to sleep. Either turn down the TV or play quietly in your room. You decide.
Logical consequences are related to behavior. Example: Picking up/putting away things.
Punishment: I’ve told you a thousand times to put your bike up, so you can forget about going to a movie later.
Logical: Since you cannot be responsible for putting up your bike, you cannot ride it today. You may try again tomorrow.
Logical consequences imply no judgment and emphasize making the right choice.
Example: Not asking to borrow items and then losing items borrowed.
Punishment: You’ve lost my hammer — that’s worse than stealing! Your allowance is cut off until its paid for and you cannot use my tools ever again!
Logical: How will you replace the hammer you lost?
Logical consequences are short-term and emphasize future behavior choices.
Example: He or she is late for dinner.
Punishment: You’re always late! How many times have we gone through this? You don’t care. You can just stay at home for a week!
Logical: Since you cannot come home on time, you must come home straight from school tomorrow. The next day, you can try again.
Logical consequences are presented in a matter of fact way.
Example: Won’t feed her pet.
Punishment: You did not feed Muggins, so you may not play with him for a week. That should teach you to be responsible for your dog!
Logic: (Matter of fact) Melissa, you didn’t give Muggins his food and water today, so you cannot play with him today. You can try again tomorrow.
Logical consequences permit choice.
Example: Children fighting at the table.
Punishment: You knock it off right now or you’ll both go to bed without supper!
Logic: You may settle down now, or go to your rooms until you are ready to join us.
(c) 2009, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
