The fear of bees is common, and most people actually fear being stung by a bee rather than fearing bees themselves.

Many of us have friends or family members who have been stung by a bee and we have heard all about how bad a bee sting can be.  Most of these tales are true: bee stings can be painful and can result in swelling that lasts for days. A few people have allergic reactions to bee stings.

This post is designed to provide you a plan and resources for helping your child or teen overcome his fear of bees or other things.

First Step: Validate Your Child’s Fear

The first step in helping your child overcome any phobia is to validate his fear in a positive way.  Rather than saying, “Oh, it’s silly to be afraid of bees!”  try validating the fear by saying, “You’re really afraid of bees.” Then, follow-up by saying,  “Let’s see what we can learn about them together.”  This validates the child’s feelings and lets him feel as if he has been heard.  If you don’t validate his feelings, you will have trouble making progress.

Next Step: Learn about Whatever You Fear

A fearful child can be helped by learning more about the thing that they fear.  I suggest that you start with print information, progress to video information, and then start slowly increasing your loved one’s exposure to the feared object.

For the child who is afraid of Bees, they are a truly fascinating subject to study.  They play an important role in our ecology and economy. Here are some great sources of information about bees.

• The International Bee Research Association (IBRA) has a great booklet about bees you can download and read with your child (coming soon for the US) to help kids understand bees and their role in our world.

• Bee Girl is another good site packed full of information about bees.

• PBS Sci-Girls also has a helpful video about bees.

Of course, parents should always preview materials and videos to make sure they are appropriate for their children.

Similarly, if your child has a fear of elevators, it might be helpful to learn how elevators work, how many safety features are built into elevators, and how few accidents are related to elevators.  Any fear your child or teen wants to overcome can be researched in this way.

Build a “Courage Ladder”

Once your child or teen has some information about his feared subject, it’s time to make a goal and a plan for conquering that fear.  For example, slowly working up being around bees and not being overly anxious might include the following steps.

• Learn about bees (using the resources above).

• Look at pictures and videos of bees.

• Visit a local kid-friendly beekeeper: to find one, check out the website Bee Culture.

• Find other places in your area that have information and exhibits about bees. For example in Dallas-Fort Worth,  Nash Farm in Grapevine, Texas has an information area about bees including the ability to look inside a beehive.

• Walk with a parent around an open area where there are bees for a few minutes.

• Gradually increase the amount of time your fearful child and you spend in an open area where there are bees.

• Gradually increase the amount of time spent (without a parent) in an area where there are bees.

You and your child must determine how quickly or slowly he will progress.  You know your child better than anyone else, so you and he get to decide what you do and how fast you move through the steps you designate.

As your child works through this list, it is important to evaluate and celebrate her progress.  If your child is struggling to make progress, she may need some incentives to do so.  It is important to ask questions to figure out why your child is not making progress.

Need Help?

Using a “Courage Ladder” can help with lots of other fears and phobias If you need help helping your child address their fears, email, or call us at 817.421.8780 to make an appointment.

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(C) 2010-2019, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.