When you, your child, or your teen hear news about an outbreak of an infectious disease like the coronavirus (COVID-19), it is normal to feel stressed and anxious. During an epidemic like the one we are currently experiencing, it is important to understand, monitor, and relieve stress in yourself and those you love. Here’s how to cope with stress.
The best way to cope with stress is to focus on the things you and your loved ones can control in your lives – taking care of yourself, relaxation strategies, taking action to tolerate stress, thinking realistically, and staying connected to others.
Take Care of Yourself and Your Loved Ones
You and your loved ones are encouraged to take these steps to take care of yourselves.
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Limit the amount of time you and those you love spend reading or watching the news about the coronavirus.
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Limit reading information about the disease on social media.
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Get accurate information from reliable sources like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
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Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water.
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Get enough exercise, sleep, and rest.
Take Time to Relax and Take Actions to Tolerate Stress
When you are feeling overly overwhelmed, take time to breathe, relax, and practice distress tolerance strategies that work for you.
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Do something! Go for a walk, run, dance, play a game, read, or engage in some other activity you enjoy.
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Keep track of what’s going well and why. Regularly compare successes to struggles.
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Create the opposite emotion by listening to relaxing music, watching funny videos, or doing whatever makes you feel less stressed.
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Temporarily push stress or worry out of your mind. Write down a few things you can do to address your stress or worry. You might include, “Get accurate information, take actions recommended to prevent getting the disease, and talk to a trusted friend, loved one, or counselor.” When you start worrying again, remind yourself that you have a plan.
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Replace your worried thoughts by doing thinking tasks like number/word puzzles. In a pinch, even counting books in a bookcase can be a way to distract yourself from stressful thoughts.
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Pay attention to your senses. Pet your dog, squeeze a stress ball, look at art, listen to sounds in nature, or eat your food slowly and pay attention to how it tastes.
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Do something for someone else. Help someone you care about with a task you can do well or make or do something nice for your loved ones. Clean up your room and donate things you don’t need. Surprise someone with a hug, a nice note, or a favor.
Change Negative Unrealistic Thoughts
First, try to identify your (or your child’s) automatic, negative, and unrealistic thoughts about this problem or your ability to handle this problem. These thoughts typically include the words I, me, or my, such as “I’m bound to get the coronavirus” or “I can’t prevent my family from getting this disease.”
Next, ask questions to look for evidence and alternatives to unrealistic thoughts including, “Is this thought true?” “What’s happened when I’ve worried about this type of problem before?”, “What happens to other people?”, “What is likely to happen?”, and “What’s my best realistic thought?”
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If you tend to experience all or nothing thoughts like, “I always get these types of diseases” or “I’ll never be able to prevent getting this disease,” try asking yourself some specific questions like, “How likely is it that this will happen?” or “What can I do to prevent getting this disease?”
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If you have overgeneralizing thoughts such as, “Because my uncle who lives in Washington has the coronavirus, I’m bound to get it here in Texas,” try asking yourself, “Am I jumping to conclusions about what will happen to me?” or “How is my situation different than my uncles?”
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If you have exaggerating thoughts where you expect the worst possible thing to happen or you exaggerate the risks involved, ask yourself, “Is the problem as bad as I am making out?” or “How bad could it be?” or “What can I do to reduce the risks?”
Understand Your Loved Ones’ Reactions to Stress
Stress and anxiety often result in changes in behavior that are focused on either avoiding or escaping a stress-related situation (including talking about stress and stressors). These behavior changes may occur suddenly (especially in children) or may develop gradually (in adults).
When you first notice a change in your child’s or teen’s behavior during stressful times, first think to yourself, “Is she stressed or anxious?” as a new way of thinking about her behavior and to try to approach her empathetically and help her feel calmer.
It is helpful to check in with your child or teen when he or she shows behavior changes with the assumption that it is stress or anxiety-related by saying something like, “What’s stressing you?” or “You seem stressed; do you want some help calming down or can you do it yourself?”
Be ready to help your child try the suggestions outlined above. Teaching these replacement behaviors is crucial to reducing stress-based behavior.
Because children who are stressed like predictability, maintaining a structured plan for each day is very calming and can reduce their negative feelings. They do best in a structured situation where there are explicit expectations and schedules for activities during the day. Maintain normal routines and work with your child or teen to set goals and a schedule for learning something (or a lot of things) new every day.
Communicate and Stay Connected
Open and honest communication is essential to giving your loved ones a better way to express their thoughts or feelings. First, help them know that feeling stressed, depressed, or angry about this disease is normal. Validate their feelings by saying something like, “You’re scared about the coronavirus.” Then, share the best ways you know to deal with stress so that they can learn how to cope.
Provide your child or teen accurate and understandable information about the coronavirus once a day or whenever they ask. Without appropriate information, stressed and worried children quickly think the worst will happen. Reassure them that they are safe. Take time to talk about the efforts to slow down the spread of the disease and what your family is doing to reduce the risks of them getting the disease. Use the reliable information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to explain the most likely outcomes for those their age if they do get the disease. If possible, it can be helpful to limit the amount of time your child reads or watches the news and social media about this infectious disease.
Stay connected with your loved ones by talking about and doing things not related to the outbreak. Spend time playing games together (even video games). Read books or watch movies together and talk about your favorite parts. Spend time helping others and praying together.
Need Additional Help?
If you or a loved one needs additional help coping with stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings about the coronavirus outbreak, contact us to make an appointment.
We remain committed to supporting the emotional well-being and resilience of the children, teens, adults, and families we serve. Given the ongoing concerns posed by the coronavirus (COVID-19), we are providing both online and in-office appointments. In the office, we are following the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines to ensure that everyone who accesses our services remains safe and healthy.
(c) 2020, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
