One way to address your procrastinating is to focus on your values and to reframe the tasks you’re putting off in terms of what’s important to you.
For example, if you don’t value cleaning house (who does?), you will struggle to find the motivation to do it, and you’ll tend to put this task off.
On the other hand, if you value your family and friends, and you value having a nice place for them to gather in your home. You might recognize that putting off cleaning keeps you from “living out” your value of having a happy family and maintaining strong friendships.
To honor these values, you might plan a get-together with friends (your valued goal). As a result, the list of the things you need to do to clean your home become “valued activities.”
Identify Your Values
Values are your long-term goals, the rules you choose to live by, and the character strengths that are important to you. In my office, I have clients sort through 90 values cards to identify their most important long-term goals. Values can include family, friendships, autonomy, and genuineness. Even “fun” is a value. To identify your values, think about what you truly find meaning in your life.
Once you’ve identified your values, you are encouraged to use them to help make better choices and to motivate yourself when considering necessary but possibly invaluable or even difficult changes in your life. In other words, make sure your decisions align with your values.
Ask Yourself Some Important Questions
When dealing with the urge to procrastinate, it can be helpful to consider each one of your values by writing down your answers to the following questions:
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How has procrastinating kept me from honoring and “living out” this value in the past? In other words, think about how the urge to procrastinate and the resulting lack of motivation have kept you from doing the things you value.
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How can I better honor and live out this value in the future? Think through how not procrastinating can help you do those things you value in the future. State this in the positive as if it has already happened (I can…). These are “valued goals.”
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What steps can I take toward honoring this value by not procrastinating? Be specific here about the actions you will take to live out your value by completing a task instead of fighting the urge to procrastinate. These are “valued activities.”
Develop an Active Plan to Complete Your Valued Activities
Once you’ve identified your valued activities, it is important to make time in your schedule to complete them. Consider blocking out specific times each day you will work on your valued activities to make sure your valued goal is achieved.
Expect the urge to procrastinate to occur during these valued activities, but don’t think about ways to get rid of the urge. Instead, ignore the urge, focus on your valued activities, and get on with your day and your life! Remember that your goal is to do what is important to you. Your goal is not to try to alter your urges to procrastinate.
Measure Your Success Properly
Success is determined by whether the valued activity is completed. Success is not about tolerating or “toughing out” the urges. Success is based on how willing you are to experience whatever urges show up but not letting them get you side-tracked from your valued activities.
Regularly, it is important to ask yourself two questions: “What’s working?” and “What’s not working?” If it’s working, celebrate by acknowledging your progress. If it’s not working, problem-solve and figure out ways to make it work for you.
Need Help Applying These Concepts?
Fighting the urge to procrastinate can be hard and sometimes you may lack the confidence to fight or you may need someone to help you develop specific skills. I am happy to help you build your confidence and develop additional skills to fight the urges that keep you from being successful.
Contact us to make an appointment.
(c) 2014-2021, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
