Just like time-out, grounding tends to get a bad rap.  This is because many parents misuse it. 

• Mom says, “You’re grounded for a week!” until she cools off and remembers some important event Billy Earl is already scheduled to attend, lets him go, and undermines her authority.

• “You’re grounded!” means Lilly Pearl stays in the house but she watches all her favorite TV shows, texts her friends until 2:30 each morning, and updates her Facebook status every few minutes.

• “You’re grounded for another week!” and so on: Melody Marie ends up being grounded all winter and grounding is no longer of any benefit.

• “You’re grounded for a month!” After a while, Billie Jean no longer connects the punishment with the crime.  Instead, she feels resentful the grounding fails to alter her behavior.

• “You’re grounded, but we’re going on vacation!” If parents, Betty Lou and Jimmy Ray, are not there to monitor what Thelma Liz is doing, she sneaks out with her boyfriend Buddy Lynn and undermines her parents’ authority.

To avoid these challenges and effectively ground your tween or teen try each of these five recommendations.

(1) Effective Grounding is Brief and to the Point

Here are some important things to consider when grounding your tween or teen.

• Grounding should be reserved for more difficult problem behaviors or when already established discipline techniques are no longer motivating your teen.

• Grounding should be for a few hours up to 2 days maximum (a weekend).  Anything beyond 2 days is too difficult to manage and the teen will no longer remember why he or she is grounded.

• Grounding involves withholding all forms of positive activity during the time the teen is grounded.  The teen cannot have access to anything the parent would define as a privilege.

Essentially, this part of grounding means “house arrest” for a specific and brief period.

(2) Manual Labor is a Key Component

In addition to “house arrest” your teen will have to do some type of manual labor like cleaning out the garage, mucking out the horse stalls, or any other unenjoyable tasks.

(3) Monitoring is Critical

A parent must be there to monitor the grounding.  It may need to be delayed if a parent is not going to be there.

(4) Once Grounding is Over

Once the grounding is over, the parent reminds the teen of the behaviors that will lead to grounding in the future but then goes on with the daily routine in a business-like fashion.

(5) Evaluate Progress

All in all, grounding works if it’s monitored and it’s not overworked.  After the fact, parents need to evaluate effectiveness by first asking the questions, “What worked?” and “What didn’t work?”

Need help applying this concept?

Call 817.421.8780 or email us to make an appointment.

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© 2010-2019, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.