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By changing how we give instructions, parents can often achieve improved child or
teen compliance. Here are some suggestions:
Reduce all distractions before giving instructions.
- Don’t expect your child to attend to you when something more entertaining is going on in the room.
- Turn off distractions – television, computer, video-game, etc.
Make sure your child
or teen is paying attention to you.
- Be sure you have eye contact.
- Ask your child or teen to repeat instructions.
- If necessary, gently turn the child’s face toward you to ensure she is listening
and watching when instructions are given.
Make sure you mean it!
- Never give instructions that you do not intend to see completed.
- When you give instructions, plan on backing it up with consequences, both positive
and negative to show that you mean what you say. - Do not present directions as a question.
- Do not present directions as a favor.
- State what you want your child or teen to do simply, directly, and in a businesslike tone of voice.
Do not give too many instructions at once.
- For younger children, try giving only one specific instruction at a time.
- If the task is complicated, break it down into smaller steps, and give only one step at a time.
Use Chore Cards
- Use a 3X5 index card.
- Work with your child or teen to list all the steps involved to correctly complete the task.
- Include about how much time the task should take.
- When you want your child or teen to do the chore, simply hand her the card.
Provide support for instructions involving the concept of time.
- Children and teens with ADHD and related executive functioning problems have poor
concepts of time. - If you need a task completed in a specific time, provide a clock or timer that
will give your child or teen some type of feedback and support.
Try these 5 steps and start to see improvement today. Combine these steps with other methods in the Parenting Success process, and you’ll see remarkable results!
© 2009-2011, Monte W Davenport, PhD
